Excerpt From Chapter 25: Being Self-Appointing

   As humans we have a tendency to seek permission from others...

   And the worst part is that we don’t even know we’re doing it!

   Here is an example...

   Have you ever been in a past relationship where if you wanted to do something, even something as simple as going to the corner store, and you felt like you had to ask your partner?

   Or even felt like you had to CALL him or her, just in case they called your home and you weren’t there?

   Okay, that sounds kind of extreme... How about this one?

   Have you ever felt like you had to LIE to your ex-Partner so they wouldn’t feel bad?

   Think of it that you’re dropping your child off on a Thursday night and you have a date... and you know that your Ex-Partner is single and longing for a relationship... Do you purposely withhold information from them in order to “protect” them?

   I know, I went from relatively shallow to totally “deep” in like five seconds...

   The point isn’t what the actual actions are, the point is that you’re doing it... If you are letting others tell you how to feel and how to act you are doing an injustice to yourself and ultimately an injustice to them.

   And my examples gave this SAME behavior from two polar perspectives!

   Simply put, it boils down to this: By constantly feeling like you need to ask permission, you are missing out on a VERY important Character Strength called being “Self-Appointed”.

   And what I mean by “Self-Appointed” is that you no longer have to look to others to determine how YOU feel.

   It does take confidence, so if you’re not in a place where you feel confident about who you are you should probably work on that first.

   This also includes getting rid of the idea of asking what you should do (or should be doing) and ultimately to stop worrying about their reaction.

   Let me present another perspective to you and then let you make your own judgment from there...

   Do you think that anyone in a position of “power” had to ASK someone else for PERMISSION?

   I am referring to CEO’s of companies that started out as mailroom stock boys or farmer’s kids that became President of the United States.

   Do you ever think any CEO or President has asked “hey... would it be okay if I were the president”??

   No, of course not, they were SELF-APPOINTED... They rose above the rest of the crowd because something inside of them drove them to ACTION!

   And the reason why presidents and CEO’s are revered is because they usually did things completely on their own, without guidance, direction or permission from anyone.

   The idea is that in ANY area of your life, when you CHOOSE to be what you want you can achieve it...

   Even when you feel like there are odd sacked against you, there are some key things to focus on when making yourself “appointed”...

   Keep the following in mind:

• Stay “Action Oriented” – This is just a fancy way of saying “stay on task” or staying focused. I’ve written a chapter in this book about being attentive to a task as well as given several techniques to use as a foundation.

• Don’t Mentally “Limit” Yourself – Like we talked about before when I discussed Negative Thought Patterns, as human being we lack the natural confidence to keep ourselves elevated. This is key when choosing to be self-appointed. You must be confident that you have the skills to do something or at least the wherewithal to find out HOW to do it.

• You are the person who creates your own reality... no one is going to create it for you, and chances are people are going to even delight in your failure. First and foremost, make it YOUR battles and YOUR achievement, not theirs.

   I’ll level with you, being Self-Appointed is not an easy task...

   And like most things, it takes some serious effort and energy to come against what you have been told your entire life, which is “the way things are” or that things are “just that way”.

   In fact, many people have lost their jobs or relationships because they accept things as fact when in reality they are just stories!

   Those who have come before us who have been Self-Appointed are usually those people who have biographies and television shows about them... at least the famous ones.

   And even if being famous isn’t a goal for you, stick with it...

   When you have the vibe of being confident and appointed, you will literally be **unstoppable** when it comes to getting things done and accomplishing what you need to do!

   Your child will admire you for being Self-Appointed, but most of all you owe it to yourself!

Click Here to go back to my main page